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Snipe.Net

Posts Tagged ‘geek’


Posted on November 17, 2008 - by snipe

Gift Guide for Geeks

Gift Guide for Geeks

With the holidays just around the bend (ack! HOW does that keep happening every year?), your non-geeky friends, relatives, significant others and other loved ones are going to end up in the frustrating position of trying to decide what to give you for Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Solstice/Festivus. You are a geek, they are not. This causes them much anxiety, and too often leaves you with crappy presents. So do yourself - and them - a favor - and point them over to this post on TehAwesome.Net, which contains a fantastic list of excellent gift ideas for the geeks in their life (namely, you.)


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Posted on January 4, 2008 - by snipe

It Is Pitch Dark

It Is Pitch Dark


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Posted on November 20, 2007 - by snipe

Stupid Monsters Someone Was Paid to Make

Stupid Monsters Someone Was Paid to Make

If you were ever a D&D geek (like I was), you’l totally appreciate this article from headinjurytheater.com. I was *pissing* myself. I can so clearly remember bringing home the monster manuals and immsersing myself as if it were a fresh bag of crack. (Imagine the movie a Christmas Story, when Ralphie was in the bathroom, entranced by the Little Orphan Annie code, decoding each letter one by one with fierce attention and anticipation.) But there were always a few that had me scratching my head…

Huge props to Jared Hindman for combing through them all to find the very worst. The commentaries on some of them are hysterical.


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Posted on July 20, 2007 - by snipe

Geek Haiku

Geek Haiku

Haiku is a mode of Japanese poetry, the late 19th century revision by Masaoka Shiki of the older hokku,the opening verse of a linked verse form, haikai no renga. The traditional hokku consisted of a pattern of approximately 5, 7, 5 on. The Japanese word on, meaning “sound”, corresponds to a mora, a phonetic unit similar but not identical to the syllable of a language such as English. (The words onji, (”sound symbol”) or moji (character symbol) are also sometimes used.) A haiku contains a special season word (the kigo) representative of the season in which the renga is set, or a reference to the natural world.

Haiku usually combines three different phrases, with a distinct grammatical break, called kireji, usually placed at the end of either the first five or second seven or last five morae. In Japanese, there are actual kireji words. In English, kireji is often repaced with commas, hyphens, elipses, or implied breaks in the haiku. These elements of the older haiku are considered by many to be essential to haiku as well, although they are not always included by modern writers of Japanese “free-form haiku” and of non-Japanese haiku. Japanese haiku are typically written as a single line, while English language haiku are traditionally separated into three lines.

And here they are, your “English version Haiku” Computer error messages.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

Everything is gone;
Your life’s work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

I’m sorry, there’s - um -
insufficient - what’s-it-called?
The term eludes me …

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Errors have occurred.
We won’t tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

Server’s poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

This site has been moved.
We’d tell you where, but then we’d
have to delete you.

wind catches lily
scatt’ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

A thousand flower petals
writhe in the wind -
disk C: not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao - until
You bring fresh toner.

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
“My Novelle” not found.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist

I will tell you
What doomed your printer
- if you first get a pen.

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can’t bridge

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.

The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: “File not found.”

And finally, my favorite….

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.


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Posted on June 19, 2007 - by snipe

Re: Your Brains (Warcraft)

Re: Your Brains (Warcraft)


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Posted on March 20, 2007 - by snipe

Upside-Down-Ternet

Upside-Down-Ternet

After a neighbor started stealing Pete’s wifi bandwidth, he decided to have a little fun. To give you some idea of the mayhem he caused, he:

  1. Sent all website traffic to the kittenwar website
  2. Flipped all of the images and text on the websites the neighbor was visiting, so that they were upside down
  3. and mogrified the images to appear blurry

Out-freakin’-standing.  Go here and learn how he did it using iptables and a few mogrifications.


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