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Following Me on Twitter

Following Me on Twitter

If you’re following me on Twitter, or if you’re thinking about following me on Twitter, here’s some stuff you should probably know.

Although it may sound like I’m trying to convince you not to follow me, that’s not the case at all. I just want you to know how I roll so I don’t have to suffer the heartbreak of your unfollow, and I don’t have to go through the hassle of finding out where you live so I can leave flaming bags of dog shit on your doorstep.

I tweet a lot. Hopefully you actually looked at my Twitter page before following, so this won’t come as a huge surprise to you, but just in case, I’m warning you now. I tweet a lot. I joined Twitter in March of 2008, and have over 70k tweets as of July 2011. Each one is a shining gem of wisdom, of course, but – yeah – I tweet a lot.

I don’t always tweet about industry stuff. While it’s not at all uncommon to find me discussing web development, PHP, Facebook Application design, CSS, XML, the Amazon API, or any number of industry-related things, that makes up about 10% of what I talk about. So if you’re looking to follow me solely because I’m in the same industry as you, this might not be a good fit. That said, please always feel free to ask industry-related questions. If I know the answer, I’ll help – and if I don’t, I may very well know someone who does. You don’t even have to follow me if you just have a question or two.

I am NOT safe for work. Most of the time, anyway. I swear a lot, and tweet in hyperbole a lot. I will usually warn you if a link I have posted is NSFW, but my general day to day conversation tends not to be.  Don’t believe me? Back when Cursebird was still around, I ranked 1,347 worldwide for swearing. (Go me!)

I am just a little bit evil. Anything I tweet with the #itsatrap hashtag generally promises some manner of sexy hotness and delivers something that will make you want to punch babies with fistfuls of kittens and boil your eyeballs. You were warned.

I’m really, really sarcastic. If you ever read something and you’re not sure whether I’m actually that much of an asshole, or are just being sarcastic, there’s a good chance I’m just being snarky. Usually.

I sometimes get a little silly. Okay, a lot silly. It doesn’t usually last as long as the #giantblueglowingcock debacle, but in between the swearing and the industry chat and cranky haikus, some silliness will invariably arise.

They can’t all be gems. I sometimes make really, truly terrible jokes. I occasionally make good jokes too, but every now and then I’ll drop a pun that will make you want to beat me up. It’s good to want. I want a unicorn. A unicorn that poops money. And cupcakes. A unicorn that poops money and cupcakes that make you lose weight. So, it’s good to want, but it doesn’t change a thing.

Also? Dick jokes.

I don’t have a lot of patience for people who consider themselves gurus, and if you ever ask me about my personal brand, I will stop what I’m doing specifically to invent the technology that will let me stab you in the face over the internet. I work for an ad agency, so my marketing bullshit tolerance is worn pretty thin. And god help you if you use the word “synergy” in a tweet to me and mean it.

If you only ever tweet about using Twitter, I will probably unfollow you. If that’s really all you bring to the table, there’s not much to discuss. I once saw someone with the title “Twitter Coach” in their Twitter bio, and actually threw up a little in my mouth. Anyone who needs a “Twitter coach” is too stupid to use Twitter. Period. 140 chars. Don’t be a dick. Or if you’re going to be a dick, at least be really fucking funny. There, now I’m a Certified Web 2.0 Social Media Guru Expert Maven Coach too.

So that’s what you should know about following me on Twitter. Some other stuff you might like:

For more about me and some of the goofy things I create, check out my about page.

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About snipe

I’m a tech geek/dev/infosec-nerd/scuba diver/blacksmith/sword-fighter/crime fighter/ENTP/warcrafter/activist, and the former CTO and CSO at a business innovation agency in New York City. Tweet at me @snipeyhead or read more...
  • http://www.bin-co.com/blog/ Binny V A

    Already following you.

    > I will stop what I’m doing specifically to invent the technology that will let me stab you in the face over the internet.
    Let me know when you have finished this project – I want of of them myself.

    Binny V’s last blog post..Paypal Integration: IPN’s notify_url Not Being Called

  • http://www.bin-co.com/blog/ Binny V A

    Already following you.

    > I will stop what I’m doing specifically to invent the technology that will let me stab you in the face over the internet.
    Let me know when you have finished this project – I want of of them myself.

    Binny V’s last blog post..Paypal Integration: IPN’s notify_url Not Being Called

  • Kealik

    You love nerdcore, I love nerdcore. PS I like your twitter background and want one to.

  • Kealik

    You love nerdcore, I love nerdcore. PS I like your twitter background and want one to.

  • http://japh.com.au/ Japh

    I just tweeted a response to this blog post: http://twitter.com/Japh/statuses/1769086854

    You’re too much fun :)

    Japh’s last blog post..WP-IE6Update plugin for WordPress

  • http://japh.com.au Japh

    I just tweeted a response to this blog post: http://twitter.com/Japh/statuses/1769086854

    You’re too much fun :)

    Japh’s last blog post..WP-IE6Update plugin for WordPress

  • http://melbymonkey.com/ Mel

    Hi! I found you… crap, I think it was the Wired 100 geeks to follow? Based on this, you seem like my kinda person, so I think I shall follow! ;P Be warned, I am not a big Twitter user, and have pretty much just recently decided I will use it to follow some fun people, and might possibly start using it more then, but maybe not. So I understand if you don’t follow back!

    On an unrelated note, I LOVE the design of your site, it’s amazing! ;D

  • http://amonkeeworld.blogspot.com Melby

    Hi! I found you… crap, I think it was the Wired 100 geeks to follow? Based on this, you seem like my kinda person, so I think I shall follow! ;P Be warned, I am not a big Twitter user, and have pretty much just recently decided I will use it to follow some fun people, and might possibly start using it more then, but maybe not. So I understand if you don’t follow back!

    On an unrelated note, I LOVE the design of your site, it’s amazing! ;D

  • http://www.snipe.net snipe

    Thanks so much for the kind words, Melby :) I’m still sorting through 500+ follows just from that article, so I probably will follow you back, but it may take me a while!

  • http://www.snipe.net snipe

    Thanks so much for the kind words, Melby :) I’m still sorting through 500+ follows just from that article, so I probably will follow you back, but it may take me a while!

  • http://melbymonkey.com/ Mel

    You are quite welcome. =)

    haha I bet, seems like most of the people on it were quite pleasantly surprised and are now being overwhelmed with followers! ;P

    Last blog post: Where I’ve been

  • http://amonkeeworld.blogspot.com Melby

    You are quite welcome. =)

    haha I bet, seems like most of the people on it were quite pleasantly surprised and are now being overwhelmed with followers! ;P

    Last blog post: Where I’ve been

  • http://www.snipe.net snipe

    Heh – well the funnier part is that the author (who I follow on Twitter and vice versa) didn’t tell us. I usually get new followers every day, but I woke up to 200 new follow requests, and was like WTF?? It’s only because a new follower told me about the article that I even knew! Totally unworthy to be on that list of names – they are all my geek heroes, but I’m enjoying all of the new geeky followers. I shall build a geek army and we will take over the world! Oh wait, geeks already run the world.

  • http://www.snipe.net snipe

    Heh – well the funnier part is that the author (who I follow on Twitter and vice versa) didn’t tell us. I usually get new followers every day, but I woke up to 200 new follow requests, and was like WTF?? It’s only because a new follower told me about the article that I even knew! Totally unworthy to be on that list of names – they are all my geek heroes, but I’m enjoying all of the new geeky followers. I shall build a geek army and we will take over the world! Oh wait, geeks already run the world.

  • http://melbymonkey.com/ Mel

    hahaha yeah, that’s what I’ve been seeing around at all the peoples’ sites that I’ve visited from it, everyone has been all, Omg I’ve been featured on this Wired list of 100 geeks to follow on Twitter, WOW! ;P I figured, the list includes Wil Wheaton (who I have just discovered on the world of the ‘net like a month ago, I fail!), and he is ridiculously wonderful, so maybe I should use my Twitter a little more and take up some suggestions from it of more awesome people. ;D

    hehee, indeed!And run it well. I’d gladly partake in teh geek army! ;D

    Last blog post: Where I’ve been

  • http://amonkeeworld.blogspot.com Melby

    hahaha yeah, that’s what I’ve been seeing around at all the peoples’ sites that I’ve visited from it, everyone has been all, Omg I’ve been featured on this Wired list of 100 geeks to follow on Twitter, WOW! ;P I figured, the list includes Wil Wheaton (who I have just discovered on the world of the ‘net like a month ago, I fail!), and he is ridiculously wonderful, so maybe I should use my Twitter a little more and take up some suggestions from it of more awesome people. ;D

    hehee, indeed!And run it well. I’d gladly partake in teh geek army! ;D

    Last blog post: Where I’ve been

  • http://frozen-solid.net Frozen-Solid

    I think these are reasons we SHOULD follow you on twitter :’)

  • http://frozen-solid.net/ Frozen-Solid

    I think these are reasons we SHOULD follow you on twitter :’)

  • http://iampariah.com/ Pariah Burke

    What a refreshingly honest Twittering policy. No bullshit, no holds barred. If more tweople would take the same attitude as you, would get over themselves, and realize that Twitter popularity does not equate to self-worth, Twitter would be a much more interesting place.

    I agree with Frozen-Solid: These are indeed the reasons we SHOULD (and I do) follow you on Twitter.

  • http://iampariah.com Pariah Burke

    What a refreshingly honest Twittering policy. No bullshit, no holds barred. If more tweople would take the same attitude as you, would get over themselves, and realize that Twitter popularity does not equate to self-worth, Twitter would be a much more interesting place.

    I agree with Frozen-Solid: These are indeed the reasons we SHOULD (and I do) follow you on Twitter.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Derek-OBrien/1330298521 Derek O’Brien

    opps missed this post :-S

    Lol, giggled like a girl too much too really admit too whilst reading this post.

    also shocked at your cursebird rank :-O damn i rank 1,265,769th worldwide and i aint no Nun

    :-D

    Derek

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Derek-OBrien/1330298521 Derek O’Brien

    opps missed this post :-S

    Lol, giggled like a girl too much too really admit too whilst reading this post.

    also shocked at your cursebird rank :-O damn i rank 1,265,769th worldwide and i aint no Nun

    :-D

    Derek

  • http://www.snipe.net snipe

    LOL you follow me on Twitter – how does that rank surprise you? My curse-fu is strong… :D

  • http://www.snipe.net snipe

    LOL you follow me on Twitter – how does that rank surprise you? My curse-fu is strong… :D

  • http://conversationpublicrelations.com/ Ian

    Wow, I was just having a look around at your site. I found you because I am contemplating a Mosso move. Your articles were insightful and helpful. I’m also very impressed with the integration of conversation tools here on your blog. Keep up the good work.

  • http://conversationpublicrelations.com Ian

    Wow, I was just having a look around at your site. I found you because I am contemplating a Mosso move. Your articles were insightful and helpful. I’m also very impressed with the integration of conversation tools here on your blog. Keep up the good work.

  • http://www.zaowebdesign.com/ Justin Sainton

    Wow :) I just found you via a RT by @dustinbrewer on the Social Media Douchebaggery.

    I had planned on getting much more work done this afternoon but have instead had a good time reading your past several blog posts. Good work and I’m verifiably impressed :)

  • http://www.zaowebdesign.com Justin Sainton

    Wow :) I just found you via a RT by @dustinbrewer on the Social Media Douchebaggery.

    I had planned on getting much more work done this afternoon but have instead had a good time reading your past several blog posts. Good work and I’m verifiably impressed :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dave-Jakabfi/720707273 Dave Jakabfi

    I like how honest you are in your policy above, i find it amusing and look forward to your tweets, lol

    i totally agree with your policy on advertisers and spammers, last week i had a mass cull and deleted over 800 people i was following, which to be honest made it hard for me to follow twitters that i’m interested in anyway. but now its all good, You have a very nice website, Keep up the good work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dave-Jakabfi/720707273 Dave Jakabfi

    I like how honest you are in your policy above, i find it amusing and look forward to your tweets, lol

    i totally agree with your policy on advertisers and spammers, last week i had a mass cull and deleted over 800 people i was following, which to be honest made it hard for me to follow twitters that i’m interested in anyway. but now its all good, You have a very nice website, Keep up the good work.

  • http://readytoevolve.com/ Kim Nishida

    Awesome post. Love the unashamed, sincere honest truth of your tone. Wish more tweeps were this transparent!

  • http://readytoevolve.com Kim Nishida

    Awesome post. Love the unashamed, sincere honest truth of your tone. Wish more tweeps were this transparent!

  • http://bryonsheffield.com Ironshef

    I've started reading the blog and following your twittershit. Useful, entertaining, sarcastic, knowledgeable, irreverent. I dig it.

    In fact, the only thing that irked me was when I noticed the d20 at the bottom of the page and that it wasn't turned up showing “natural 20″. Your content deserves it.

  • http://www.snipe.net snipe

    Boy, you know the way to a geek girl's heart :D Hehe! Thanks very much for your kind words. My D20s don't match the color scheme of the website, so I had to rely on stock photos, hence the numbers. Maybe this is a good excuse to buy a gold D20 and schedule a photo shoot :D

  • http://bryonsheffield.com Ironshef

    I'll let it slide in the name of design principle. :)

    Gold d20 sounds good. Because…well…shit, because you'd have a gold d20…and that's just fuckin' rad.

  • http://www.snipe.net snipe

    You, my good sir, are entirely too kind. :D

  • http://www.cdeis.com/bill_nigh.html Bill Nigh

    You are a treasure.

  • Pingback: I Don’t Like You and You Don’t Like Me — Hidden Business Treasures

  • dpasquella

    And this is why I follow you! :)

  • @jcdickinson

    This is why I follow you. No bullshit bluntness. Also: fuck you.

    • http://www.snipe.net snipe

      <3 :D

  • Erwin

    Values (what you believe) –>Principles (how you make decisions) –>Priorities (how you align / rack and stack) –>Practices (what you actual do) –>… to produce (end result of efforts)? A platform to portray who you are or who you propose to be?  I would like to follow you …, but I am not sure what benefit it would bring US (versus the YOU and THEM)  Be blessed –>@ecarrow  

  • Scott

    Thank you for the information. I will not follow you. Have a good life, if that’s your goal.
    @codecore

    • http://www.snipe.net snipe

      Hah. Thanks! You too!

  • Moe

    Totally following you!

  • Lydia Sugarman

    Love your disclaimers! Tempted to “appropriate” them.

  • P. D.

    I am going to go back to twitter now and unfollow a few people to make room for your tweets…

  • Kimberly Paine

    That second-to-last paragraph is pretty much exactly why I follow you on Twitter.

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